“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”
― Joseph Campbell
If I were still married, last Thursday would have been my third wedding anniversary. However, life has other plans for me as I am freshly divorced instead. But I am kind of glad my marriage is over.
Isn’t it funny how it takes an instant to get married and at least a year to end it? Even without seeking alimony or filing any kind of charges, I had to wait for what seemed like forever to go from ‘separated’ to ‘mutually divorced’.
It goes without saying that since 2017, I have been in the most difficult period of my life so far. Not only is divorce still a taboo in India, I never saw it coming in the first place. Anyway, this traumatic life event has spread its darkness in all areas of my life.
After unsuccessfully battling depression and anxiety by myself, I have finally turned to a therapist for help.
Now you may be wondering how all this dysfunction and heartache has translated into anything good.
Well, I have found that hitting rock bottom makes you pretty fearless. You find the courage to do that one thing you always wanted to do. When you don’t have much to lose, you give “it” a shot – whatever your “it” may be. Click To TweetThe “it” I always wanted to do is take my blog seriously.
While I started blogging three years back only because it was a course assignment, I have realized I love talking about problems that young people tend to cover-up because it makes them look imperfect, messy, uncool.
Stuff like socio-cultural issues, mental health, social media lies, and self-improvement cannot be ignored if one wants to evolve and grow, right? The only reason I didn’t talk about them as much as I would have liked to was FEAR. I was terrified of being judged and confronted.
Now that I no longer care as much about other people’s opinions, I am going to go all out and write about our shared flaws and vulnerabilities.
No more rationalization.
No more hiding.
Just real talk.
Of course, I still wish I had stayed single, but if my marriage didn’t end, I would never have found the strength to pursue my dream of blogging. So yes, no matter how cold it sounds, in a way I am definitely glad my marriage is over.
TL;DR I want this blog to become a youth-centric safe space for real talk. So I am working on doing just that. Watch this space for updates :)
You look so beautiful yet so sad. It’s like you knew what the future had in store for you. Anyway, more power to you for turning your pain into strength and personal growth and sharing your thoughts and experiences and feelings with people. I can’t imagine talking about my bisexuality the way you write about your mental health struggles. Maybe I will get there one day, who knows?
Thank you, Sia. You are not the first person to point that out…
Some issues are tough to talk about because they are taboo, but if I can do it, so can you. Sending a big bear hug your way.