If you truly love someone, you put their needs before yours.
That’s what I was force-fed as a teen.
But now that I am 29 going on 30,
I’ve learned that if I don’t put myself first,
My partner will walk all over me.
‘Me before you’ is the only way to be.
Believe me, I speak from experience, here’s my story.
I loved my ex with all my heart
And thought he loved me back just as much.
He did, at least in the beginning.
Then as I gave more than I should have in our relationship,
Everything I did was taken for granted.
It became a given that I would take care of him before me.
And so it went on for a couple of months
Until one day when I broke down completely.
My mind had grown weary of how submissive I had become,
A meltdown was what I needed to accept my reality.
This wasn’t love, it was codependency.
The realization hit me like a punch to the gut,
I ended that relationship instantly.
Now before I date anybody else,
Some ground rules are going to be set.
And what’s on top of the list, you ask?
Nobody comes before me. Nobody.
Me before you. Me before everybody.
Choosing self-care isn’t selfish, it’s sanity.
Self-respect, that’s what I call it. It’s always on the top and always has to be on the top. No compromise.
I went through a similar thing, but the “breakup” was with my sister. For years all I’d done was worry about her and waste my energy on HER well-being, until I needed me, too.
I am not sure she’s all too happy with that, but that’s (frankly) not my problem. I deal with me first. Like you say, Mahevash: me before anybody else. I can’t take care of someone else if I am not 100% okay.
I can imagine. It’s tough but sometimes, it has to be done. Good call, Samantha <3
Oh baby I can relate to your pain having just got out of a terrible relationship
You don’t know me the way you really should
You’re sure misunderstood
Don’t call me baby
PS Breakups are hard. Take care.