Take me as I am.
Don’t try to change me.
It’s my way or the highway.
How many times have you heard variations of these lines? In music, movies, sitcoms, and in real life? I won’t drag Marilyn Monroe into this mainly because she’s not around to defend herself, but you know *that* famous quote, right? Wait, I just found out she never said it. Damn you, Internet!
Anyway, the words aren’t to blame – in fact, they stand for the fact that we should accept someone for who they are, not who we want them to be. (Not talking about the fake Monroe quote. I’m not sure I want to touch that.)
Which is good – no one should fake their style or personality just to get someone to like/love them. Besides, that’s totally fucking creepy, right? Not to mention disrespectful to yourself.
It goes without saying that this does not mean we should tolerate soul-crushing stuff like abuse, disrespect, or neglect.
But us humans have a knack for twisting words to our own advantage. The result? Way too many people use these statements to get away with shitty behavior.
Neglect, sleeping around, chronic lying, domestic violence, gaslighting – the list of crap people get away with thanks to these cliched, nauseatingly popular one-liners is endless.
It’s unacceptable and it needs to stop. If you have issues, fix them. Period. Note that this does not apply to makeovers. No matter how many scripted “love stories” begin that way. Also, there’s a big difference between shaving for your lover and getting a whole new wardrobe just to be seen with them. I’ll leave it to you to decide which one is acceptable because I don’t want angry men and women verbally sparring with me and each other.
For those of you who are at the receiving end of these overused phrases: call them out on their bullshit. Set some healthy boundaries so they can get their shit together. Yes, even if that person is mommy/daddy/sister/BFF dearest.
We need to encourage each other to change, evolve, grow. That’s what life is about as civilized beings. Becoming a better version of yourself and expecting the same of the people in your life. Else, we might as well go back to living in caves and communicating in grunts.
So the next time someone tries to manipulate you in this manner, shut. them. down.
Do it gently or be blunt AF – whatever works for you. Just please, for the sake of humanity, don’t take this horseshit anymore. You are better than that. Even a pandemic is a flimsy excuse. A zombie apocalypse might change my mind, but I hope it doesn’t come to that.
However, if you are a masochist and enjoy all kinds of pain and torture, welcome to your personal heaven :)
Just kidding. Please don’t put up with such abuse – irrespective of whether the person doling it out is your father, mother, sister, brother, best friend, manager, or partner. Only one creature can probably get away with toxic bullshit: your cat.
I believe you have to choose your battles. If someone tells you to take them as they are or leave them they are letting you know they have no willingness to improve the situation.
That honesty can be a blessing in disguise. It gives you the opportunity to choose your battles. In most cases, if they find no value in working to solve the issue, neither will I. I agree there is immense value in you calling them out on it 😉
That makes sense.
Yes, it can be satisfying in a way ;)