If you’re single and everyone knows it, brace yourself for the dreaded date that’s just around the corner: February 14. Yes, Valentine’s Day is when smug couples on social media take their smugness to a whole new level. This isn’t anything new and it’s always irked me irrespective of my relationship status. And I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.
Insecure couples show off their relationship
Truth be told, insecure couples tend to post cheesy photos and status updates on social media because they want validation from others. They want others to like and/or covet their “perfect” relationship. Sexologist Nikki Goldstein agrees and her quote for Mail Online couldn’t be more true:
“Often it’s the people who post the most who are seeking validation for their relationship from other people on social media. The likes and comments can be so validating that when someone is really struggling, that’s where they get their up from – not the person making the gesture, but what other people will say about it.
You see people who will focus so much on taking a ‘relfie’ – a relationship selfie – and getting the right filter and hashtags that they’re missing the moment. I think, why don’t you take a photo because it’s a nice memory and a moment you want to look back to? ‘Couples are taking these photos, straight away putting them online and then watching the likes and comments instead of being with their partners.
‘Why not post a photo because it’s a happy moment or a funny photo or because it shows real happiness? Instead there are a lot of people out there who want to flaunt to their friends and the world that this person is mine. Nobody wants to see post after post about how in love you are and how amazing this person is.”
Regardless, singlehood isn’t easy
That said, it is hard for a single person to not feel bad after seeing mushy posts of people in love. The love may or may not be real, but it still stings. And let’s not forget how these very smug couples discriminate against singles for being single. Not only on social media but also in person.
Being judged for not being coupled up sucks, but have you ever thought that maybe the ones doing it are only projecting their insecurities on you? At any rate, it’s better to be single than to be in a bad relationship. Many folks compromise on their values, shrink, or pretend to be someone else merely to stay partnered.
In fact, even though many people are happier being solo, society has a problem with it. I personally experienced it myself in 2017. Luckily, Bella DePaulo’s groundbreaking book Singled Out helped me understand that this othering is not my problem or fault.
If you find yourself single and judged this Valentine’s Day or any other day of the year, I highly recommend reading Singled Out to know that you are a) not alone and b) in great company. Click on the image below to get your own copy on Amazon.