When It Comes To People, What You See Isn’t Really What You Get


As individuals, we tend to jump the gun when it comes to figuring out the people in our life. When someone doesn’t react the way we expect (read: want) them to, we judge them instantly. You know the drill.

“Oh, he has moved on already? Looks like his ex didn’t mean much to him after all.”

“They seem so happy in all their posts. I am sure their lives are perfect.”

“She hasn’t changed a bit since her mother passed away. I didn’t know she could be so cold.”

“She just cut me out of her life without any explanation. I thought we were good friends!”

And so on.

I think that deep down, you and I know there is more to us than meets the eye. But we generally do not think of the puzzle pieces that we cannot see. It’s so much easier to jump to conclusions. But easy does not mean right, right?

We are only hurting ourselves and our loved ones when we choose this literal approach to life. We are also missing out on opportunities to comfort and bond with each other. One of the best ways to connect with anyone is to find out how they really feel.

So let’s look beyond the surface. Go from the empty “how are you” and “take care” to deep, and at times, painful conversations. And most importantly, stop making assumptions about someone’s insides by looking at their outsides.

I know this is difficult– in fact, it’s something I struggle with a lot. It is hard to notice what is not right in front of you. You have to broaden your perspective to be aware of the bigger picture.

But the struggle is necessary. How can we help each other if we ignore what’s behind the scenes? What is the point of calling ourselves emotionally intelligent if we cannot differentiate between what’s real and what’s not?

We are the most complicated beings in existence, and we owe it to each other to be a little more kind and understanding.

Life's better when you are aware of your surroundings.

Life's better when you are aware of your surroundings.

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