Why Romantic Relationships Are Better In Your Thirties And Beyond

All over the world, most of us are on the lookout for love, for a significant other who helps make life worth living. Despite globalization, India is still entrenched in the age-old practice of early matrimony. In most Indian families, women and men in their twenties are expected to be married as soon as possible, lest they go beyond their “marriageable age”. Naturally, this leads to situations wherein people rush to commit due to personal, parental and societal pressure, only to regret it later.

Thankfully, things are changing today. More and more people are delaying their search for finding a long-term partner.

People are waiting until they are well into their thirties and sometimes, even their forties and beyond before looking for the love of their lives. Though there is no documented correlation between age and having a fulfilling romantic relationship, it is apparent that the older you get, the better you know yourself and can figure out the kind of person you want to spend your life with.
In our VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous) world, there is a clear trend of people opting to seek committed relationships in their thirties and beyond. I firmly believe this trend is here to stay, even in a conservative country like India. There are several reasons to back my statement:

There is a big difference between infatuation and committed relationships.

While most of us seek love, respect, and companionship from our partners, only some of us are equipped to express this at a young age. Anybody can stay infatuated, but it takes a lot more to keep a relationship going. Time and experience, if nothing else enable us to communicate our needs properly, thereby reducing disappointments and relationship failure.

Our twenties are all about completing our education, getting a job or two, trying to be independent, and learning about life.

There’s clearly a lot going on in this decade and finding a partner amidst such turbulence is not exactly a bright idea, is it? In our thirties and beyond, we are more in control of our emotions and finances. Isn’t it much more sensible to look for a companion after we have learned to look after ourselves? After all, self-care and self-responsibility are two factors that help keep any relationship healthy and strong.

We mature over time, not overnight

Good relationships are built over time, they don’t just happen. A lot of good relationships are based on maturity, a quality that we typically acquire as we grow older. For example, in an immature relationship, when one half of the couple puts in more work than the other, they are likely to point it out and fight about it. A mature person wouldn’t do that as in any relationship, it isn’t possible for the partnership to always be 50/50. Understanding and accepting that the ‘load bearing’ in the relationship keeps changing according to the situation is what keeps a relationship going.  And we usually wisen up to this fact in our thirties and beyond, not in our twenties.

There is immense pressure to find a long-lasting relationship in our twenties but one has to be emotionally ready to go steady.

Like it or not, the amount of patience and emotional maturity that a healthy relationship requires is something we acquire only after we grow out of our twenties. After all, building a relationship with someone you can always rely on requires a ton of hard work, patience, and empathy. And qualities like these are gifts that we receive only as we grow older.

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, a global matchmaking platform for urban Indians above thirty years of age. If you are a thirty-something single Indian looking for a committed partnership, head to https://andwemet.com/ today.