I used to think coping mechanisms were helpful ways
To deal with painful or stressful situations
Never thought they could be negative too
How naive of me
Everything in life comes in black and white
And often many shades of gray
The allure of negative mechanisms
Is human nature and instant gratification
We are drawn to what’s not good for us
For it brings relief and pleasure
So we grab it despite the repercussions
Of shame and secrecy
Or guilt and regret
Oh, I don’t mean to preach
I’m just as guilty as anyone else
Like when I dropped a year in college and slept all day
Just so I didn’t have to feel any pain
Like when my marriage ended and I shopped like a maniac
To get my mind off of my grief
Ah, it hurts too much to think about
All the ways I avoided processing my troubles
The feelings they invoked were too hard to deal with
So I diverted my mind by doing something worse: avoidance
It’s the mistake I made over and over again
Only recently have I learned to feel my agony
The hard way is the only way
If I ever want to leave misery in my wake
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