Let’s Talk About Boundaries — And How People Misuse Them

Photo by Taras Chernus on Unsplash

Everyone who follows mental health topics online has heard of the term ‘boundaries’. Unfortunately, like many popular mental health terms, it is grossly misused. That’s the reason why many people I know are:

a) setting rigid, abusive, or unhealthy boundaries (narcissists are great at doing this to manipulate their “loved ones”).

b) using boundaries to get away with making selfish, unethical, and unreasonable life choices

c) shutting out loved ones by being harsh instead of gentle (for example, if a close sibling is unable to understand a new boundary and asks for an explanation, not giving them one is cruel and unfair.)

d) cutting off “toxic people” for not respecting their so-called boundaries.

As I mentioned in a recent Twinkl India post, this is proof that all of us need mental health education. Yes, even me. Because while lived experience is expertise, we also need formal education.

This is why although I have ample lived experience, I am not only a mental health blogger. I am also taking proper courses to increase my expertise. And I hope you will do the same, if only in the context of boundaries.

Remember, boundaries are meant to make life easier and better for the person who sets them. But first, it is crucial to know what they must be and what they must not be. If you don’t know better, you may end up distancing your loved ones. What’s more, your loved ones may manipulate you by setting the wrong kind of boundaries. So do yourself a favor and check out the following information from 4 experts:

Creating Boundaries Without Being Bound by Them

A Therapist Explains 6 Things People Get Wrong About Setting Boundaries

Avoidance is not a boundary

Do You Set Boundaries Or Barriers? Here’s Why The Difference Matters