It doesn’t begin with a scream.
It begins with overthinking.
With a heart that won’t slow down.
A mind that won’t shut up.
Anxiety drones: Stay alert. Danger is near.
So you stay.
Awake. Afraid. In limbo.
Until one day, staying feels like drowning.
And that’s when suicidal ideation walks in.
It doesn’t say die.
It says maybe you don’t have to keep doing this.
And for a second, that sounds like mercy.
Fear and surrender are siblings.
Born from the same exhaustion.
Both trying to end the noise in different ways.
But my life is mine, so I tell them to back down.
I’m still here.
I’m still trying.
And sometimes, that’s all the living I can do.
