As teenagers, we rely on our friends for support and companionship. They are our confidants, our partners in crime, and our chosen family all rolled into one. But what happens when these very friends become a source of distress in our lives? According to recent research, teens are more likely to be bullied by their friends than random classmates. This can be super confusing because when we hear the word ‘bully,’ we never picture one of our friends, do we? For this reason, it is crucial to identify if a friend is bullying you before dealing with bullying.
Is your friend bullying you?
Here are some examples to help you know if a friend is bullying you:
- Your friend frequently makes jokes that make you feel bad about yourself
- When you express that you feel hurt by these jokes, they brush off your feelings
- Your friend routinely excludes you from social activities and conversations
- They often pressure you to do things you are not comfortable with, or that go against your values
Now that you have identified that a friend is bullying you, here is how you can stand up for yourself.
First off, know that it is never okay to be bullied by a friend. And if your bully claims they were “only joking,” remember that this is a classic case of verbal abuse disguised as a joke. Do not accept this pathetic excuse because you deserve to be treated with respect.
Asserting your boundaries is crucial when dealing with bullying behavior from a friend. Now is the time to speak up and express how their actions make you feel. Use “I” statements to communicate your thoughts and feelings. Example: “I feel hurt when you make fun of me in front of others. I need you to stop.” A clear statement like this leaves no room for doubt.
PS Setting boundaries isn’t easy, but it’s easier when you remember it’s not about being confrontational. Setting boundaries is about advocating for yourself and establishing mutual respect within the friendship.
For good measure, reach out to a family member or a trusted adult who can offer guidance and perspective on your situation. Further, contact your school counselor or a mental health professional for additional support and resources. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
What if the bullying still doesn’t stop?
If the bullying persists despite your best efforts to end it, cut off all contact with your “friend.” While it can be painful to end a friendship, you owe it to yourself to let go of people who don’t treat you right. You deserve to be surrounded by true friends, those who appreciate you and give you the love and respect you deserve. After all, you are the main character in your life.
Note that bullying can take many forms and may not always be obvious. Always trust your gut and pay attention to how you feel when interacting with your friends.
