Why Oil for Your Lamp Is the Self-Care Wake-Up Call Women Need

“To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.”
― Mother Teresa

When I came across Oil for Your Lamp in the half-price section at a Crossword bookstore, I was instantly intrigued by the cover. After all, women taking care of themselves is still a radical concept; most women are raised to put everyone else first. We learn early that being a “good woman” means being available, dependable, and selfless. The world applauds us when we do it long enough, and then quietly looks the other way when we burn out. After reading a few pages of this book, I decided to buy it as it looked promising. And now that I’ve read it, I’m glad I did!

Oil for Your Lamp Tells Women What They’ve Always Known but Rarely Practice

“We run around filling others’ lamps with oil, but forget to fill our own lamps first. Then we wonder why we’re often exhausted, frazzled, stressed-out, anxious, and depressed!

The premise is simple: you cannot glow if your lamp is empty. Both Lisa Hammond and BJ Gallagher speak to women across all stages of life. They reassure us that self-care is a fundamental requirement for a meaningful, joyful, and sustainable life. When we practice self-care, we are being wise, not selfish. Plus, we are also equipping ourselves to show up fully for those we care about.

What I like most is that the authors avoid preaching or talking down to us. They invite reflection and remind women that we are allowed to take up space. They challenge the sexist notion that our worthiness is tied to how much we give, sacrifice, or endure. First, they identify the problem: women have been failing to take care of themselves since time immemorial. Then they figure out solutions to address the problem, such as incorporating play into our lives and asking for help when we most need it.

Take Care of Yourself First

I love the oil and lamp metaphor because it transforms self-care from a vague concept into something tangible. When you picture a lamp running low, it becomes impossible to ignore how often women operate on fumes.

While reading, I thought about all the times I chose responsibility over rest. I thought about every time I proved I was dependable at the cost of my own well-being. Oil for Your Lamp does not shame women for making such choices. It simply shows what happens when we include ourselves in the circle of care.

Who This Book Is For

You will connect deeply with this book if you:

Feel guilty when you rest
Constantly show up for others, even when you are quietly struggling
Put yourself last
Have forgotten how it feels to receive support rather than only give it
Want to read essays from awesome women like Karen Drucker, Barbara Jensen, and Michelle Sedas
Are fed up with being seen as the stronger one in every room

Conclusion

Oil for Your Lamp is a mirror that reflects how much women invest in others, and how rarely they invest in themselves. More importantly, it is a reminder that it is possible to be a loving and generous human without abandoning your own needs. Women do not need to push harder or do more. We need permission to prioritize their own energy and well-being without guilt or apology. It’s time for us to become “hell or high water hussies”! We owe it to ourselves to be human, not superwomen.